Social anxiety arises in response to social situations. People may experience anxiety before, during, or after these situations, often at all three times. A certain amount of social anxiety is completely normal, with around 90% of people acknowledging that they feel shy at certain points in their lives. Most people feel anxious about some social situations, such as public speaking and job interviews. They worry about whether the speech or interview will go well or what other people will think. Most people also feel relieved when it is over. However, for some people, the anxiety becomes so distressing that they avoid the situation at all costs.

What is Social Anxiety?

‘Social anxiety disorder or ‘social phobia’ is a common mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of social situations where an individual may be subject to scrutiny or judgment by others. It can significantly impact a person’s daily life, hindering their ability to form relationships, perform tasks, and engage in everyday activities.

Situations

The types of social situations that provoke anxiety vary from person to person. People with social anxiety may find the following situations anxiety-provoking:

• One-on-one conversations
• Interacting in groups
• Going to parties or social gatherings
• Initiating or maintaining conversations
• Meeting new people
• Dating
• Public speaking
• Being watched while writing, eating, or drinking
• Walking down the street in view of others
• Shopping
• Making phone calls
• Initiating social catch-ups
• Using public toilets
• Sitting facing other people on a bus or train
• Being assertive with others

Symptoms of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety manifests through various physical, emotional, and behavioral symptoms. Some of the most common symptoms include:

• Excessive self-consciousness in social situations
• Intense fear of being judged or humiliated
• Avoidance of social interactions
• Physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, or blushing
• Difficulty speaking or making eye contact
• Over-analyzing social interactions after they occur

Causes of Social Anxiety

The exact causes of social anxiety are not fully understood, but several factors may contribute to its development. These include:

• Genetic predisposition: A family history of anxiety disorders may increase the likelihood of developing social anxiety. The more of your family members that suffer with anxiety or depression, and the closer they are to you genetically, the more likely you are to develop an anxiety disorder.
• Brain structure: Abnormalities in brain regions that regulate fear and anxiety may play a role.
• Environmental factors: Traumatic or stressful life events, such as bullying or public humiliation, can trigger social anxiety. Many people with social anxiety disorder report experiencing bullying or abuse during their childhood or adolescence. Some recall one or two particularly distressing social experiences that have stuck in their minds, while others report enduring regular criticism early in life.
• Learned behavior: Observing or experiencing negative social interactions can reinforce anxious responses to social situations.

What Keeps Social Anxiety Going?

Several factors contribute to the persistence of social anxiety:

Negative thoughts

When most people are upset, they have upsetting thoughts going through their minds. These thoughts can powerfully impact our emotions and may be about the past, present, or future. Common social anxiety thoughts include:

• I will say something stupid and others will laugh.
• Other people are talking about me behind my back.
• I am trembling, shaking, and looking as bright red as a beetroot.
• I won’t know what to say.
• People think I am very odd.

Negative thoughts about social situations are one reason people feel socially anxious. Sometimes these negative thoughts take the form of words, and sometimes they appear as images. Images may involve multiple senses. We may see a visual image of the social situation playing out, recall people’s voices (auditory memories), see snapshots (visual memories) from past social situations, or imagine these aspects of future social situations. They may be vague or fuzzy, or they might be as clear as watching a movie.

Avoidance behaviors

To stop feeling anxious, most people with social anxiety try to avoid or escape from social situations to prevent their negative thoughts from coming true. Avoidance makes sense in the short term because it may provide some relief from the anxiety. However, this relief is only temporary because the underlying perception of social threat is never directly tested, challenged, or modified. As a consequence, the social fear remains. In fact, avoidance usually results in increasing anxiety in more and more situations as people come to believe they cannot cope with social interactions. Avoidance also causes practical problems and interferes with people’s lives.

Safety behaviors

Sometimes, it is not possible to completely avoid social situations. In these cases, socially anxious people often use subtle avoidance behaviors called “safety behaviors” to help them feel more comfortable. Safety behaviors are actions taken within social situations to try and prevent fears from coming true. For example, a person might attend a work meeting but not say anything. They haven’t avoided the situation altogether, but they have avoided testing their fears (e.g., that if they say something, they will be criticized).

Common safety behaviors include:

• Using alcohol or drugs
• Not making eye contact
• Not contributing to discussions/meetings
• Wearing inconspicuous clothes
• Asking a lot of questions to avoid disclosing personal information
• Making excuses to leave early
• Covering up anxiety symptoms in some way (e.g., using makeup to cover blushing)
• Perfectionistic behaviors, such as over-preparation for presentations/meetings
• Carrying anti-anxiety medications to take “when or if needed”
• Only talking to specific “safe” people

While these “tricks of the trade” might seem to reduce anxiety and prevent social catastrophes, they actually stop us from learning that our fears are less likely to happen than we think (probability) and less catastrophic when they do happen (cost). If a social situation goes well, it doesn’t seem to make a difference to our social anxiety because we attribute the success to our safety behavior, rather than learning that the situation itself is safe and we can cope socially. Safety behaviors can actually worsen the problem by making us more self-focused and appear less engaged in the social situation.

Related: Why Is Perfectionism Bad?

Self-focused attention

People with social anxiety focus their attention in ways that increase their anxiety in social situations. They often focus most of their attention on themselves, including their physical symptoms of anxiety and their negative thoughts (self-focused attention). They may also scan their environment for any evidence that they are being negatively evaluated (environment-focused attention), such as noticing people laughing in another part of the room or anyone looking in their direction.

When most of our attention is directed towards ourselves and searching for threats in our environment, very little attention remains to focus on the task at hand (task-focused attention). This increase in self-consciousness and anxiety interferes with social performance because you are not focusing on what you are trying to do, such as maintaining a conversation.

How You Think You Appear to Others

Close your eyes and create an image in your mind of how you think you appear to other people when you feel socially anxious. Most people with social anxiety believe they are performing very badly and that their anxiety is blatantly obvious to others. For example, they may believe they are blushing bright red, shaking, trembling, looking away, sweating, or stumbling over their words.

However, many people who feel anxious in social situations have inaccurate views about how they appear to others. Although you may feel anxious, it is possible that others cannot see this. In fact, most people with social anxiety come across far better than they think they do. Inaccurate and overly negative beliefs about your social performance and how anxious you appear to others can mislead you and increase your perception of social threat.

Core Beliefs

Many people with social anxiety disorder recall early life events associated with significant social anxiety. You may identify one or two situations, or many early experiences, that substantially contributed to your social anxiety. These early experiences may carry important meanings about ourselves, others, and the world in general, known as ‘core beliefs’.

For example, if I was bullied, I may have formed beliefs such as “I am unlikeable” or “I am inferior.” I might also have come to believe that “others are hostile or critical.” As a consequence, when I think about entering a social situation now, I believe my ‘inferiority’ is obvious and I expect to be criticized by others. Core beliefs are not necessarily conscious thoughts but are more like ‘unwritten’ rules through which people interpret what is happening around them. They can act like ‘filters’ that guide our thoughts and expectations in the present moment.

Treatment of Social Anxiety

Effective treatments for social anxiety include:

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT helps individuals identify and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs, gradually exposing them to social situations to reduce fear.
• Medication: Antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications can help manage symptoms.
• Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: These strategies can help individuals manage anxiety and improve their ability to cope with social situations.

Related: How to Practice Self-Compassion?

Conclusion

Social anxiety is a debilitating condition that affects many individuals worldwide. Understanding its symptoms, causes, and maintenance factors is crucial for effective treatment. With the right interventions, individuals can overcome social anxiety and lead fulfilling lives.

References

1. Bank, S., Burgess, M., Sng, A., Summers, M., Campbell, B., & McEvoy, P. (2020). Stepping Out of Social Anxiety. Perth, Western Australia: Centre for Clinical Interventions.https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-Yourself
2. Saulsman, L. M., Ji, J. L., & McEvoy, P. M. (2019). The essential role of mental imagery in cognitive behaviour therapy: what is old is new again. Invited review for Australian Psychologist, 54, 237-244. doi: 10.1111/ap.12406.
3. Rapee, R. M., Gaston, J. E., & Abbott, M. J. (2009). Testing the efficacy of theoretically derived improvements in the treatment of social phobia. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 77, 317–327.