Attraction often communicates itself through non-verbal cues, known as body language.

If you find these fundamental attraction questions challenging, you are not alone.

Is she attracted to you? 

Does he like you? 

Why didn’t they call? 

Body language equips you with the tools to determine where you stand. By understanding these signals, you can identify when someone is interested in you.

The Origins of Body Language

To understand contemporary nonverbal cues of attraction, examining the origins of our body language is insightful. Our Stone Age ancestors employed the same body language that we utilize today.

The following are the messages we aim to convey to potential mates through our body language, along with what is considered attractive:

I’m open

I am harmless

I’m interested

I am friendly

I’m fertile

Body Language: Signs of Attraction

Common signs that someone is attracted to you include:

Eye Contact

One of the most significant indicators of attraction is prolonged eye contact. When someone is attracted to you, they are likely to make frequent and sustained eye contact. This non-verbal cue suggests interest and attentiveness.

• Pupil Dilation: Studies show that pupils dilate when we look at something or someone we find attractive (Hess & Polt, 1960).
• Gazing: People often gaze at someone they are attracted to, occasionally looking away to avoid being too obvious (Mason et al., 2005).

Facial Expressions

Facial expressions can reveal a lot about someone’s feelings. When a person is attracted to you, their facial expressions often become more animated and expressive.

• Smiling: A genuine smile, which involves the muscles around the eyes (known as a Duchenne smile), indicates genuine attraction and positive feelings (Ekman & Friesen, 1982).
• Raised Eyebrows: Slightly raised eyebrows during conversation signal interest and curiosity (Mehrabian, 1972).

Physical Proximity

People tend to reduce the physical distance between themselves and those they find attractive. This can be a clear sign of interest.

• Leaning In: Leaning towards you during conversation shows that they are engaged and interested (Hall, 1966).
• Orientation: Turning their body to face you directly indicates that they are focused on you and want to interact more closely (Mehrabian, 1972).

Touch

Touch is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. Subtle touches can signal attraction and a desire to connect more intimately.

• Light Touches: Brief, gentle touches on the arm or shoulder can indicate interest and affection (Burgoon, 1991).
• Mirroring Touches: If someone mirrors your gestures or touches in a similar manner, it suggests they feel a connection and are comfortable with you (Chartrand & Bargh, 1999).

Gestures and Posture

Gestures and posture can also provide clues about someone’s feelings of attraction.

• Open Posture: An open posture, where the person faces you with their arms and legs uncrossed, signals openness and receptivity (Pease & Pease, 2004).
• Mirroring: Mimicking your movements and gestures indicates a subconscious desire to build rapport and connect (LaFrance, 1985).

Nervousness and Preening

When someone is attracted to you, they might display signs of nervousness or engage in preening behaviors to make themselves more appealing.

• Fidgeting: Small nervous movements, such as playing with their hair or adjusting their clothes, can indicate attraction and a desire to be noticed (Moore, 1985).
• Preening: Actions like smoothing their hair, straightening their clothes, or checking their appearance reflect an effort to look their best for you (Grammer et al., 2000).

Voice Modulation

Changes in voice pitch and tone can also signify attraction. People often alter their vocal characteristics when speaking to someone they find attractive.

• Pitch Variation: A higher or lower pitch can indicate attraction, as individuals subconsciously modify their voice to sound more appealing (Hughes et al., 2010).
• Laughter: Frequent and genuine laughter during conversation shows enjoyment and a positive connection (Provine, 1996).

Non-Verbal Ways to Be Attractive

When we choose someone as a potential mate, our body automatically undergoes physical changes to attract them. For instance, our cheeks flush, appearing excited. Additionally, our lips swell, suggesting increased fertility, and we release pheromones to attract the other person. Moreover, from a body language perspective, we can consciously do a few things to attract a potential mate.

Lean In

Leaning toward someone is a nonverbal way of expressing engagement. This technique is particularly effective in a group setting when you’re interested in a specific person. By leaning toward them, you subconsciously draw them closer, indicating your interest.

Head Tilting

Tilting your head signifies interest and attentiveness. When engaged in a conversation, convey your openness and interest by tilting your head and maintaining eye contact. Avoid looking over their head or around the room, as this signals a lack of interest and sensitivity.

Related: Body Language: What Do Crossed Arms Actually Mean?

Conclusion

Recognizing body language signs of attraction helps you understand someone’s feelings towards you. By paying attention to eye contact, facial expressions, physical proximity, touch, gestures, nervousness, and voice modulation, you gain insights into their level of interest. Understanding these non-verbal cues enhances your social interactions and helps you respond appropriately to others’ feelings.

References:

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8. Hughes, S. M., Dispenza, F., & Gallup, G. G. (2010). Ratings of voice attractiveness predict sexual behavior and body configuration. Evolution and Human Behavior, 25(5), 295-304. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2004.06.001
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11. Mehrabian, A. (1972). Nonverbal communication. New York: Aldine-Atherton.
12. Moore, M. M. (1985). Nonverbal courtship patterns in women: Context and consequences. Ethology and Sociobiology, 6(4), 237-247. https://doi.org/10.1016/0162-3095(85)90016-0
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14. Provine, R. R. (1996). Laughter. American Scientist, 84(1), 38-45.